Ordering Early Modern Marriage

Introduction

R. Jephthah Joseph Yuspa HaLevi Manzbach (1604-1678), usually known as Juspa Shamash of Worms wrote one of the most extensive descriptions of the marriage rite known to us from early modern Jewish sources. In his Minhagim de Kehilat Kodesh Wormeisa, Juspa sets out to describe the daily rituals and the specific variations of them practiced in Worms. As can be seen in the text below, he goes into minute details of practice concerning dress, procession, food and social order.

My presentation will discuss his description of the marriage rite from two perspectives. The first will be a brief comparison to earlier German texts from the thirteenth-fifteenth century and a discussion of some of the novel emphases and elements in Juspa’s account. The second focus will be an analysis of family and gender hierarchies based on these novelties in light of recent research on early modern Christian families. I will read the text seeking to expose the gender divisions and attitudes towards families as they emerge through the extensive wedding ritual observed by the Jews in Worms.

Selected Bibliography

Abraham Epstein, “Die Wormser Minhagbücher”, Gedenkbuch zur Erinnerung an David Kaufman, Breslau 1900, 288-317

Steven Ozment, When Fathers Ruled. Family Life in Reformation Europe, (Cambridge 1985).

Lyndal Roper, “Going to Church and Street. Weddings in Reformation Augsburg”, Past and Present 106, (1985), 62-101.

Eadem, The Holy Household: Women and Morals in Reformation Augsburg. (Oxford, 1989).

שלמה איידלברג, “ר’ יפתח יוסף יוזפא הלוי מנצפך מוורמיישא. שמש, נאמן הקהל ורושם רשומות”, PAAJR 51 (1984), 22-1.

אברהם מאיר הברמן, “מנהגי הקהילה בוורמייזא מתוך ספר המנהגים של ר’ יוזפא שמש”, סיני עט (תשל”ו), רמז-רסח.

יצחק זימר, “מנהגי נישואין בוורמייזא. מתוך ספר המנהגים של ר’ יוזפא שמש”, סיני פו, (תש”ם), יד-נד.

Source 1 Translation

The Custom book of R. Juspa of Worms

Wormser Minhagbuch des R. Jousep (Juspa) Schammes

Juspa of Worms, 17th century

227

Generally, they arrange the betrothal¹ at the home of the rabbi, and immediately after

the vessel is broken for the betrothal agreement,² the people who are present go to the

home of the groom and say to him: “Mazal Tov.”³ And if they wish, they go to the home

of the bride as well, to say to her: “Mazal Tov.” And the mother of the bride brings along

female neighbors and relatives to the home of the groom, they say to the groom: “Mazal

Tov.” And the custom is for the fathers of the groom and the bride to distribute

Lebkuchen⁴ after the betrothal. And on the day of the betrothal, the groom makes a

meal, and this meal is called: Knass Mahl. ⁵

The groom, the first Sabbath after the betrothal—it is a requirement to call him to the

Torah Scroll on the first Sabbath after the betrothal, and he is obligated to give half a

gold piece to the charitable trust in return. And he gives liquor to the young men[^6] and

sends liquor to various householders, relatives, and many neighbors, the cantor, the

sexton,[^7] and to those whom he wishes. And on Lag BaOmer[^8] and on the fifteenth [of

the months of Av and Shvat], he is obligated to give the young men a gift that is called

Viertel.[^9]

The groom and the bride do not go to the graves [^10] for a period before the wedding and

for a period after the wedding, unless someone has died and they must observe

mourning. And the bride does not wear Sturz⁶ for a full year after the Huppah,⁷ as

will be noted hereafter in Section 252.

For seven days before the marriage [ceremony], the bride wears white [garments]. And

they summon young women ⁸ to dine with her, and this meal is called: Suppe Mahl.⁹

And the bride wears Sabbath clothing and Guelden Haube¹⁰ until the day of the wedding. And she does not leave her house from that day on, until Spinholz Sabbath¹¹

and until the Day of Savlonot.¹² And during these days, the young women enter the

home of the bride and rejoice with her and entertain her.

Spinholz is on the Sabbath immediately preceding the wedding of a young man and a

young woman. On Friday close to Minhah,¹³ the groom dons a Sabbath mantle,

meaning a Seiden Mantel,¹⁴ and a Mitron¹⁵ and comes to the synagogue. The cantor

sings Malhutekha,¹⁶ Hashkivenu,¹⁷ Ki Shomreinu¹⁸ in special tunes for the Spinholz.

After the nighttime meal, the sexton calls through the streets, up and down: “zu der

Spinholz.”¹⁹ And the entire community, men and women,²⁰ come in Sabbath mantles

to the home of the groom. The fathers of the groom and the bride are also dressed in

Sabbath mantles. And they stand thus, each one in his house before his table, and give

drinks to those entering. And the groom sits at the head of his table, and his table is

decorated and bedecked with lovely vessels, as is befitting his status, and with fruits and

sweet delicacies brought by the merchants,²¹ such as Zucker²² and the like. And all who

come sit around his table for a short while, and drink wine, and rejoice with the groom

until others arrive. And then the first group goes on its way, and the [new]comers sit at

the table for a short while like the previously-mentioned ones, and they too go when a

third group arrives. And so forth.²³ And after everyone else, the young men come and

sit with the groom at his table, and rejoice with him, and drink in his honor. And the

women do not sit, but stand behind the table and wait for their husbands to go, and the

women go with their husbands. And outside, near the entrance to the house, stands the

mother of the groom, or the mistress of the house if his mother is not there, and female

relatives, and they distribute Lebkuchen to every man and woman who exits.

And so, afterwards, all of the groups go to the home of the bride as well. The bride also

sits at the head of her table adorned with lovely clothing as befitting her status and with

a Scheppel²⁴ and a Glencheck²⁵ on her head. And the table is decorated and bedecked

like the table of the groom. And around the table sit young women adorned with lovely

clothing, and they sit there with great modesty, and they do not eat nor do they drink.

And the men and women who come there stand behind the table and observe the table,

and its vessels, and the bride. And the father of the bride provides refreshment for those

entering and gives them wine to drink. And when they exit, the mother of the bride, or

the mistress of the house, and the female relatives distribute Lebkuchen as well, like at

[the home of] the groom.

[When] a widower marries a young woman or a young man marries a widow, the young

woman and the young man make a Spinholz in accordance with all that has been

mentioned, and similarly, on the morrow, on the Sabbath day, make a Spinholz, as

mentioned on the previous page, but the widower and the widow do not make a

Spinholz. Nor does the widower go with new garments or in a Mitron to the synagogue on Sabbath eve or on Sabbath day. The widowed bride, on the morning of Spinholz

Sabbath, wears only her wrap, which they call Sturz. This Sturz she wears Über den

Faust,²⁶ and no further.

[On] the morning of Spinholz Sabbath, the groom comes to the synagogue, as on the

previous day, in a Mitron and a mantle for Sabbath. The groom is not called to the Torah

Scroll on the morning of Spinholz Sabbath.

For Mussaf,²⁷ the cantor sings Yehei Shelamah²⁸ and Oseh Shalom²⁹ in the final

Kaddish³⁰ in the groom-and-bride tune. After Ein KeEloheinu,³¹ the young men and

boys accompany the groom to his home, and drink liquor, and eat Lebkuchen.

After the morning meal on Sabbath, the sexton’s assistant calls: “zu der Spinholz,” like

the previous day. Then the women come to the home of the bride, with the Rabbanit, the

wife of the Head of the Rabbinical Court, in the lead, and seat the bride on a chair and

dress her in women’s garments that are called Röckli and sing a melody and a groom-

and-bride song. And afterwards, they remove the Röckli³² garment from her and dress

her in a Sabbath mantle for women. And the bride goes first, with her two attendants to

her right and to her left, and all the young women behind them, and the players before

them with musical instruments, and they play from the home of the bride until the Braut

Haus.³³ And the bride goes thus, in a mantle for Sabbath and in a Scheppel and

Glencheck, until her arrival at the Braut Haus, and there she removes the mantle. And

the bride dances there with her attendants and the young women, and the mothers of

the groom and the bride and women who are close to the groom and the bride also come

to this festivity and dance and rejoice there. And afterwards, the young men come to the

home of the groom and lead him to this same festivity, and they too dance there and

rejoice there. The father of the groom and the father of the bride and some householders

who are close to the groom and the bride also come to this festivity and observe this

rejoicing. And it is their prerogative, should they wish, to dance there too, themselves.

And the fathers of the groom and the bride bring wine and provide drinks for the

householders there. And the householders come last and leave first. And the young men

with the groom [leave] a short time after them, and the bride with all the young women

[leave] last, with the players before them.

For Minhah, the groom comes to the synagogue as in the morning, with lovely garments

and the Mitron on his head, and with a mantle for Sabbath. And it is a requirement to

call the groom to the Torah Scroll. And when he comes to the podium, opposite the

Torah Scroll, before he recites the Torah blessing, he removes the Mitron and wears it

around his neck like a mourner. And so he stands there, until after the Mi Sheberakh.³⁴

And before he descends from the podium, he re-dons the Mitron in its usual way and

returns to his place in the synagogue. And immediately after the Kedushah,³⁵ the

groom exits the synagogue, and in his honor, the young men walk behind him to his home.

And they say ZU”Z.³⁶

Immediately upon departure from the synagogue, after Minhah, the sexton calls those

summoned to the Spinholz, householders and young men and young women, as the

fathers of the groom and bride wish. And [married] women are not invited to this meal.

And the householders and the young men eat with the groom in his home, and the

young women with the bride in her home, and they eat and drink and rejoice.

228

On Sunday and thenceforth, during the week of the wedding, the groom and the bride go

about in Sabbath clothing but not in a Sabbath mantle or a Mitron.

229

Most weddings of young men and young women are on Wednesdays. On Monday night,

which is actually the beginning of Tuesday (night), they feast and make merry, and this

meal is called: R. Manis Mahl.³⁷ And it is customary to invite relatives of the groom and

bride and some notables to this meal, but no more.

230

Tuesday is the Day of Savlonot.³⁸ In the morning, the groom comes with a Sabbath

mantle, that is to say, a Seiden Mantel. At noon, the groom summons young men and

boys and the bride, young women, and the sexton summons them from the Zettel.³⁹

And the young men and the boys eat at the home of the groom with the groom and the

young women with the bride. And it is customary for them to eat dairy foods and fish,

and no more. And they hurry this meal, one hour at the most, and they call this meal:

Milchmahl.⁴⁰ And they do not summon to this meal either married men or married

women.

And immediately afterwards, the bride goes with a mantle for Sabbath and with a

Scheppel and a Glencheck, as [noted] previously [regarding] the Spinholz, in Section

227, and the players before her and the young women behind her, all as [noted]

previously, and they dance there in the Braut Haus. And afterwards, the young men [go

to] the Braut Haus with the groom, in a mantle for Sabbath and a Mitron, and they

dance and rejoice there until just before Minhah. The groom returns to his home first,

with the young men, and a short while afterwards, the bride, with the young women,

also returns to her home, and the players [walk] before her.

And there in her home she sits at the head of her table, and the young women around

her, around the table, and there is nothing on the table but a lovely cloth, spread in her

honor. And the father of the groom brings the gifts to the Head of the Rabbinical Court,

and the sexton summons to the [giving of the] gifts, from the Zettel, those whom the fathers of the groom and

the bride wish. And all those summoned, they too come to the

home of the Head of the Rabbinical Court. And the rabbi emerges from his home with

the gifts, and so, exposed, conveys them to the home of the bride. The rabbi enters first

and after him, the father of the groom and the father of the bride, and afterwards, all

those summoned, the notables leading.⁴¹ And then the rabbi sets the gifts on the table,

in front of the bride, and says: “This shall be a present to you from the groom, after the

Huppah and from then on.” And the young women who are sitting on either side of the

bride take the gifts and adorn the bride. And afterwards, the rabbi leaves and returns to

his home and, so too, all those gathered return to their homes, and the young women

also return to their homes.

And just before Minhah, before the sexton summons [people] to the synagogue, he calls

through the street, up and down: “Die Kalle zum Bad führen.”⁴² And then the bride

goes, in a Scheppel and a Glencheck, and in a Sabbath mantle, with two women in

festive clothing and Sabbath mantles to her right and to her left, and behind her some

women and young women, and the players before her, and they lead her to the

bathhouse. And when they leave the synagogue,⁴³ the bride returns, with the two

women at her side and with the women, and the young women, and the players before

her. And on the bride’s head is a scarf which they call: dicke Schleier,⁴⁴ and on the scarf

is one Scheppel, a Mascheppel⁴⁵ and a Glencheck. And the bride performs her

purification rite⁴⁶ that night, if she is fit to immerse, and not during the day.

For Minhah, the groom comes to the synagogue in a Sabbath mantle and a Mitron, and

when the cantor gets up to Tahanun,⁴⁷ the groom exits and sits there in the synagogue

courtyard until the cantor and the congregation have completed the Tahanun, and just

as the cantor begins the Kaddish, he returns and comes in to the synagogue. In

Freileift⁴⁸ where the marriage [ceremony] is on Sabbath, then on the Wednesday and

Thursday before the marriage [ceremony], the groom exits the synagogue during

Minhah at the point when they say the Tahanun.

After they leave the synagogue, the sexton summons those invited to the Savlonot meal,

from the Zettel, men and women, young men and young women. The rabbi, and the

fathers of the groom and the bride, and most of those summoned go and stand at the

entrance to the home of the groom. And the groom emerges with a mantle for Sabbath

and a Mitron, and before him the musical instruments, and he goes first and after him,

the rabbi and all of those summoned, and they lead him thus to the banquet hall. And it

is the custom to seat the bride, with the young women, in the same room where the

groom sits with his guests. And if possible, the groom should be facing the bride. But the

women sit in a different room, not in the same room where the groom sits. The groom

sits in a Mitron and a mantle for Sabbath until shortly after HaMozi,⁴⁹ and then, if he

should wish to remove the Mitron and place a hat on his head, it is his prerogative, until

before they bring him gifts from the bride, as will henceforth [be described], then he re-dons the Mitron.

And he is not allowed to eat or to drink until after he receives the

gifts that the bride sent him.

And so is the custom with the gifts that the bride sent. They eat two or three dishes, and

afterwards, the father of the bride brings the gifts to the rabbi. And then the groom

re-dons the Mitron. And the rabbi takes it, and looks at it, and gives it afterwards to

some esteemed persons seated there, and they too look [at it]. And he sets it on the

table, and he says to the groom: “This shall be a present to you from the bride, after the

Huppah.” And those sitting on either side of the groom, to his left and to his right, gird

the gift on the groom. And then the groom is allowed to eat and drink and rejoice. And if

he should wish, he may afterwards remove the Mitron and place the hat on his head,

until the Grace After Meals, and then he re-dons the Mitron.

And the groom and the bride wear the gifts every single day until the Saturday night of

the Schenk Wein.⁵⁰

The groom wears the Mitron and they recite the Grace After Meals—they sing Nodeh

LeShimkha⁵¹ and afterwards Grace After Meals. And they do not seat the bride at the

table during Grace After Meals and Nodeh LeShimkha.

Following Grace After Meals, they bring the groom to the Braut Haus, to the festivity, for

the bride and young women are already there, because they came there before Grace

After Meals. And nearly all those summoned walk with the groom, and they sing

Yigdal⁵² as they walk, and the servir⁵³ goes before them with torches, and they dance

and rejoice there for some time. And afterwards, they bring the bride to the groom, and

to every man, his wife, and they dance and frolic and rejoice there with great joy, and

afterwards, they go peacefully to their homes.

231

On Wednesday, which is the day of the Huppah, in the morning, before the sexton

sounds⁵⁴ [the call] to synagogue, he opens the Braut Haus, and he opens a small

entrance of the synagogue which is called: the Groom’s Entrance. And the sexton calls in

a loud voice, as he knocks [the call]: “zu der Mayen, zu der Mayen.” And thus he calls,

twice, each time that he calls. For a widow, they do not call or come zu der Mayen, but

for a young woman, they call and they come, even if she is marrying a widower.

And thus is the custom of the Mayen. The groom wears the Mitron around his neck, like

a mourner. The groom goes first, and after him, the rabbi, and the entire community

before them. Musical instruments, as well as the servants and the members of the

groom’s household, walk before them with torches in their hands. And they light the

torches even on summer days, because they are not lit solely to illuminate, rather, the

main purpose is to bring joy to the groom and bride. And they walk [until] they come to the Braut Haus.

And the groom sits on a special platform for seating the groom and

bride, and the rabbi and the community stand there.

And the musical instruments and the torches go to the bride’s home, and they bring the

bride as they had brought the groom. And it is a custom to honor two women who walk

alongside the bride to bring her to the Braut Haus, or else the mothers of the groom and

the bride bring her. And these two women go adorned in festive clothing and bring the

bride up to the entrance of the Braut Haus.

And then the rabbi goes to the groom, to the place where he sits, and takes him by the

hand and leads him to the bride, at the entrance of the Braut Haus, and the groom takes

the bride in his hand, and the rabbi is still holding the groom’s hand, and he leads them

to the platform which is prepared for seating the groom and bride that was mentioned

previously. And the two women who lead the bride come as well and sit alongside the

groom and bride, and presently, they stand and take the bride with them and lead her to

her home. The women with the bride exit first, and afterwards, the groom also goes and

comes to the synagogue by way of a small entrance which is called: the Groom’s

Entrance, and young boys go with him and push him to enter via the small entrance of

the groom, and the rabbi and the householders follow.

And when the rabbi leads the groom with the bride to the Braut Haus, to the platform

where they sit, along the way, they throw wheat at the groom and the bride and say to

them as they throw: “Be fruitful and multiply.” And it is a custom for the fathers of the

groom and the bride to bring this wheat themselves in a small bowl.

They seat the groom at the front of the synagogue, in the place designated for all grooms

to sit during the Mayen, and they place a Ständer⁵⁵ before him, and they light twelve

wax candles on that same Ständer which is before him. Relatives of the groom and bride

come zu der Mayen in mantles for Sabbath. The groom sits in his place and does not

stand even when they say Kaddish and Barukhu⁵⁶ and does not pray at all. And when

the cantor reaches Kedushah, the groom stands and wraps himself in a prayer shawl, but

he does not put on phylacteries nor does he pray, and at the conclusion of the Kedushah,

he sits again. And thus is the synagogue custom of a widower who is marrying a widow,

that he sits in the groom’s place and twelve candles are lit for him, but he is obligated to

pray and to put on phylacteries like all other people.

And they do not say Tehinah⁵⁷ nor LaMenazeah,⁵⁸ and if it is a Monday or Thursday,

they say El Erekh Apayim⁵⁹ in a pleasant tune. And it is a requirement to call the groom

to the Torah Scroll. [If] a wedding [is] on a public fast day, they say selihot⁶⁰ as well as

Viddui,⁶¹ Tehinot but not LaMenazeah.

It is customary for the groom and bride, whether they are young man and young woman

or widower marrying widow, to fast on the day of the Huppah, even if it is the New

Moon or a day on which Tahanun is not said.

At noon the young men are summoned to the groom and the young women to the bride,

and they lead the bride to the festivity, and the young men go to the festivity as well. And

the groom, if he wishes to go with them, may do so. And if he wishes, he may go to his

Lieferung,⁶² even if his father is there.

The fathers of the groom and the bride summon, via the sexton, those who wish to come

to the home of the rabbi for the Lieferung, and they eat and drink there, and they

abridge that meal and hurry with the Lieferung. The father of the groom lays out the

groom’s dowry first, and afterwards the father of the bride. And since there is no

Ketubbah⁶³ over which the parties do not quarrel, they are, for that reason, in the

presence of the rabbi, and the rabbi and the wedding attendants who are there mediate

between them. And afterwards, they gather the dowry into a pouch, and they seal it with

a seal, and they give it to a trustee who is reliable and acceptable to the groom. And they

generally leave it in the possession of the rabbi.

And afterwards, the sexton calls: “die Kalle flechten gehen,”⁶⁴ and then the Rabbanit,

the wife of the rabbi, comes first to the home of the bride and commences with this

mitzvah⁶⁵ to braid her [hair]. And thus is the custom. All of the women come in

mantles, the relatives in a mantle for Sabbath and the others in a mantle for weekdays,

and the bride sits in a chair and on her lap is a large bowl, and they provide for the bride,

relatives and whoever wishes, whatever [s]he wishes, this one a ring and that one a

silver spoon, and this one a scarf and that one a coin, and this one such and such

[amount of] money, and so forth, everyone. And they throw everything into that bowl,

and everything is written on a Zettel, and all of this [takes place] at the time of the

braiding. At that braiding, the women also sing songs in honor of groom and bride.

And afterwards, the sexton calls for two escorts, servants of Dahlburger. And the sexton

calls from the upper gate to the lower one in these words: “zu der Broche.”⁶⁶ And then

the rabbi comes opposite the entrance to the groom’s home, and the entire community is

behind him, and the groom emerges with a Mitron around his neck, as is a mourner’s

custom, and in a Sabbath mantle, and one escort is before him and musical instruments

are before him, and the rabbi is behind him, and behind him the entire community, to

the Braut Haus, and the relatives of the groom and the bride in Sabbath mantles. And

then the groom sits upon the platform which is prepared to seat him, in the place where

he sat in the morning zu der Mayen. And afterwards, the women bring the bride, and the

second escort is before her, and musical instruments, and she stands at the entrance to

the Braut Haus.

And the rabbi takes hold of the bride by her clothing [and leads her] to the place

designated for Kiddushin⁶⁷ and stands the groom next to her, the bride on the right and

the groom to her left, their faces to the south and their backs to the north. And the

mothers of the bride and the groom lead the bride from her home to the Braut Haus,

and if the mothers are not there, they honor two women. And the women are dressed in

festive clothing. And during the Kiddushin, the two women stand adjacent to the groom

and the bride, and all of the women stand close to them as well, at the Braut Haus.

During the Kiddushin, they take up the Zipfel⁶⁸ from the Mitron which is on the

groom’s head and place it on the bride’s head. And if the bride is not ritually pure, they

remove the Zipfel from the bride’s head immediately after the Kiddushin, and one of the

women stands between groom and bride and creates a separation between them.

The sexton brings with him a prayer shawl and two flasks filled with wine and gives the

prayer shawl to the Head of the Rabbinical Court who officiates at the Kiddushin. The

rabbi dons it, and afterwards, the sexton gives him one flask, and the rabbi recites upon

it the blessing Borei Pri HaGafen⁶⁹ and the Erusin⁷⁰ blessing, and the one who blesses

faces east. The sexton takes the flask from the rabbi and gives the groom to drink from

the [cup of] blessing and gives the flask to one of the women and she gives the bride to

drink, and afterwards, she hands the flask back to the sexton.

Afterwards, the rabbi tells the sexton to summon so-and-so and so-and-so to be the

Kiddushin witnesses, and the sexton calls them aloud by their names. And it is

customary to summon somewhat prominent [individuals] as Kiddushin witnesses. And

the Kiddushin witnesses and the Ketubbah and document witnesses are distinct,

because the Ketubbah and document witnesses are two young men. The rabbi says to

the Kiddushin witnesses: “See whether this Kiddushin ring is worth a perutah,”⁷¹ and if

they said: “Yes [it is],” then the rabbi says to them: “Observe the Kiddushin.” And then

the rabbi says to the groom: “Say after me.” And he pronounces before him: “Behold,

you are consecrated (to me) by means of this ring, according to the practice of Moses

and Israel,” word after word, and the groom repeats after him, except that only the

groom says the word: “To me,” and not the rabbi. And when he says: “To me,” the groom

should stick the ring on the finger adjacent to the thumb of the bride’s right hand.

And afterwards, the sexton summons two young men to be witness for the Ketubbah

and the documents, and the rabbi reads the Ketubbah aloud. And the young men will

receive the binding acquisition from the groom, and the bride, and the parties and all of

the requisite acquisitions.

And afterwards, the father of the groom or his relative recites [the blessing]. And thus is

the custom. The rabbi takes off the prayer shawl and gives it to him, and he wraps

himself [in it] and recites upon the second flask the blessing Borei Pri HaGafen and

commences with the Seven [Wedding] Blessings, until the end of Sameah TiSamah,⁷²

and concludes: “Hatan VeKallah.”⁷³ And following him, they do not give the groom and

bride to drink from the [cup of] blessing. And he takes off the prayer shawl and gives [it]

to the father of the bride or to her relative, and he recites the continuation and begins at

the place where the first one broke off, which is at the blessing Asher Bara Sasson etc.,⁷⁴

through the end of the Seven Blessings, and concludes: “Hatan Im HaKallah.”⁷⁵ And

then the sexton gives the groom to drink from the [cup of] blessing, and the woman

gives to the bride, as previously. And the sexton recites the Seven Blessings in a low

voice together with the one who is blessing, in order to guide him in the reciting, lest it

should happen that the one who is blessing is not well-versed and he should err and be

embarrassed. And even if there is one who is well-versed, and even with the rabbi for the

Erusin blessing, the sexton recites in a low voice, in order not to embarrass one who is

not well-versed.

Afterwards, the groom removes the Mitron and places it on his head in the usual way.

And the sexton gives the groom the flask of the Erusin blessing, and the groom throws it

at a stone in the shape of a lion’s head, which is there in the Braut Haus, and breaks it

there.

And afterwards, he immediately reverses the Mitron and wears it around his neck like a

mourner. And the groom and the bride sit on the platform which is designated for

seating a groom and bride, and the two women who lead [her] under the Huppah are

beside the bride. And if the bride is not ritually pure, one [of them] sits between groom

and bride to create a separation between them. And presently they stand, and presently

they hurry the groom, in a joyous manner, to his home or to the home of the bride, the

groom first, and afterwards, the bride.

And they sit at a table, and one who wishes to sit at that table as well takes a seat. And

they bring a whole loaf, the groom recites the HaMozi⁷⁶ blessing and gives the bride a

piece and [pieces to] all those seated, and they bring wine, and they recite Borei Pri

HaGafen, and they drink wine. And the two women who lead the bride sit beside the

bride. And if she is not ritually pure, one of the two sits between the groom and the bride

to create a separation between them. And afterwards, one of his servants comes bearing

a bowl, and in it is a cooked hen. And he asks the groom if he wishes to redeem the hen,

and the groom says: “Yes.” And he puts the bowl with the hen on the table, and at once,

they place the hen before the groom, and the groom cuts off one thigh and returns it to

the bowl, and then the hen is available and up for grabs. And afterwards, they recite the

Seven Blessings and Grace After Meals. And afterwards, they segregate groom and bride

in a given room, and they eat there together, and there is no one with them except one of

the relatives.

And afterwards, the sexton calls for those summoned from the Zettel, as on the previous

day, and they come to the wedding hall and they eat, and drink, and rejoice. It is the

custom for the groom to expound [upon Torah] at that meal. And before the discourse,

the sexton goes from table to table, to all those summoned and to all those seated, to

collect charity from them, and he brings that charity to the groom and the groom puts it

in a special pouch, and they distribute [it] to the poor. And afterwards, they bring the

roast, and the groom expounds. And they do not seat the bride at the groom’s table

during the discourse. And the fathers of the groom and the bride come, and they honor

the groom with a gift, and they call that gift: Drosh Vingerlin.⁷⁷ And after the discourse,

those seated negotiate with the groom over the Naut Wein.⁷⁸ During Grace After Meals

at that feast, they seat the bride opposite the groom and two young women at her two

sides, and they recite the Seven Blessings and Grace After Meals.

Afterwards, the women take the bride. Sometimes they lead her to the Braut Haus and

sometimes they dance there in the wedding hall. And they dance with her in a joyous

manner, and during the dancing and in the course of dancing, they remove the veil and

the robes that are on top of her clothing. And afterwards, they seat the groom and the

bride on a single bench, and they sing before them a song for groom and bride.

And afterwards, the women take the bride and lead her to repose and lay her down in a

cushioned bed. And the mother of the bride distributes Zucker to all the women when

they lay her down. And afterwards, the men and the young men lead the groom to sleep,

and they walk with him up until the entrance to the room, and they sing Yigdal. And

they prevent him from entering the room until he distributes Zucker to them, either the

groom himself or the mother of the groom on behalf of the groom, and afterwards, the

groom enters the room. And if the bride is not ritually pure, they lay a male child down

with the groom and a female child with the bride, and they do not segregate them

[alone], even during the day, if there is not a male or female child with them. And then

everyone goes peacefully to his home.

232

On Thursday night, the night after the Huppah, they feast and make merry, and that is

the one called: Krovim Mahl.⁷⁹ And they summon relatives, and neighbors, and servir,

and no more.

233

On Friday night, the beginning of the Sabbath, after the Huppah, it is the custom for a

relative of either the groom or the bride to sponsor a feast and merrymaking for the

groom and for the bride and to rejoice with them. And when they come to the synagogue

at the beginning of the Sabbath, the bride also goes to the synagogue with a Scheppel

and a Glencheck and a mantle for Sabbath, and this is the first time that she goes to the

synagogue.

234

Sabbath morning, they call this Sabbath: Shabbat Schenk Wein, it is a requirement to

call the groom [to the Torah] third, and they make two MiSheberakhs for him, one for

the vow.

The bride comes to the synagogue before Barukhu with a scarf, which they call: dicke

Schleier on her head. And from that day on, the Schleier does not leave her head until

the day of her death, she is not permitted to uncover her hair before mankind. When

they take out the Torah Scroll, the women go with the bride to her home and put a

special scarf, mit geflindert an der Stirn,⁸⁰ on her head. And they lead her a second time

to the synagogue, before they bring the Torah Scroll into the sanctuary. And the mother

of the bride provides liquor for the women when they put the scarf on the bride’s head.

And afterwards, with the departure from synagogue, the groom and the bride come to

their home. And at the morning Sabbath meal, the groom and the bride sit beside one

another, if she is ritually pure, and any one in the entire community who wishes sends

them a cup of wine or liquor, and they call it: Schenk Wein. And after the meal, they

dance with the bride in the Braut Haus, or in her home, and they make them happy.

For the Third Meal, after Minhah, they feast and make merry. And it is customary to call

the relatives, and the neighbors, and the servir, and anyone whom they wish.

And on that night, which is the night of Moza’ai Shabbat,⁸¹ the groom performs the

commanded sexual intercourse, and separates.

And on the night following the commanded sexual intercourse, the groom buys fish, and

makes a meal, and summons his relatives, and his in-laws, and anyone whom he wishes,

and it is verification that [the bride] was a virgin, like [going about with] her head

uncovered. And they call this meal: Fisch Mahl.⁸²

235

[At the] marriage of a widower and a widow, there are no musical instruments, and

there are no gifts, and there is no Mayen. And they take a clay bowl in place of the flask

for the Erusin blessing, and he breaks it on the ground.

Endnotes

[^6] Bahurim, henceforth “young men,” refers to individuals who are unmarried or perhaps

recently married.

[^7] The shamash.

[^8] The thirty-sixth day of the post-Passover Omer counting.

[^9] He gives them an amount of wine – a quarter, a well known quantity during the period.

[^10] The cemetery.